When are you gonna buy me some cookies?

Hello Former 421 residents and various other hanger-ons,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here so I thought I might take this opportunity to talk a little bit about my life for anyone who’s interested. I teach eight classes of chemistry which each meet twice a week for 45 minutes and two classes of ninth grade chemistry which have one 45 minute meeting and one 90 minute meeting each week. I also have a homerun. This adds up two 23 class meetings each week, but since I helped make the schedule I don’t teach on Fridays. So I have four sort of 5 to 6 classes straight which doesn’t sound like that much but sort of is. Oh and I teach in the afternoons. The school is a collection of several long buildings of classrooms, since it never really gets cold here they’re all more or less open and you walk outside to go between rooms. I recently organized a science fair for our school, which was an interesting challenge. However, it turned out pretty well so I’m pleased.

Also, a couple of interesting tidbits:

The other night I had just fallen asleep when I woke up to the sound of a motorcycle revving outside of my house. I quickly pieced together that there was a drunk man on a motorcycle outside of my neighbor’s house yelling at him. He carried on a tirade interspersed with engine revving that lasted about 45 minutes. He alternated a lot between Portuguese and Macua so I wasn’t able to catch everything but there was a lot of anger, “why don’t you come out here” type of stuff. Some of the best bits included “You fucked my wife, but that’s alright, she’s nothing, she’s just sex” and then a little bit later “You work at the secondary school, you have money, when are you gonna give me some, when you gonna buy me some cookies, you have money, buy me some cookies, they’re only a couple meticais.”

I also recently cut my own hair and am pretty proud of the result. I think it’s pretty stylish and the only reason anyone would disparage it would be when they recognize that, yes, technically, it is a mullet.

I'm being watched

It has long been a running joke at my house that it is in fact bugged. The reason for this is Kirky's incredible knack for predicting what TV commentators are about to say. This is easily explained by his love of sports and the mindless drones that tell him about the sports we're watching. However, this joke recently took a terrifying turn towards what I now believe to be a reality. My house is bugged. And not just microphones for audio eavesdropping, but cameras as well. I came to this realization this weekend. While watching the hockey game Saturday night, Kirky texted me to inform me that I was above the urinal in the Fieldhouse bathroom. Thinking it to be a joke, I began prodding for the punchline. I was informed that it was no joke, and that someone had placed a picture there with a disturbing resemblance to myself. I went to investigate, and found this...


I don't know where this came from or why it ended up in a public bathroom, but I'm terrified. Someone clearly knows where I live, where I like to go, and has the means to observe me in what I thought was a private residence. This feels like an introduction to what will surely be more convincing leverage. Perhaps they want something from me? Maybe they want me to do something for them? Maybe I've just been watching too much Burn Notice? I'm thinking about dropping off the grid now. Maybe I'll try to find Ali's neighbor. She seems pretty legit.

Trava

Ok, I need the expertise of those better schooled than I in the ways of botany, permaculture, and the buying, selling and growing of stock. I was behind my apartment building the other day when I noticed this plant in my neighbor's plot:

I was asking her the names of the other plants, so I just casually asked, "What's this one called?" "Oh, that. That's just grass," she responded. Two things, in addition to the plant's appearance, strike me as curious: 1. She didn't say it was a weed, and it has in fact been weeded around. 2. "Grass"--"trava"--is a slang term for marijuana here.

When I looked around, I found many more of these plants. I'm going to watch their growth throughout the summer. Is it true that there are female and male cannabis plants? Could these be of the impotent variety? Also, are there any other plants that look like this?