First...i must follow mike with thanks to Ali for that wonderful work. Second, i chuckled to myself today when i used the phrased mutually exclusive in an email...just wanted to share.
I think we need to have a winter camping trip...thoughts?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
My new favorite song...
First off thank you Ali for that thanksgiving gem. It is indeed fucking fall, and now I feel that I need to get some gourds. Which also makes me think of a classic geoff quote. "I mean dude if you want me to throw the pumpkin off the roof i'll do it. I'll smash the shit out of it". Oh drunkeness.
So the girlfriend and I were in Louisiana for thanksgiving festivities and I have discovered my new favorite song. For those of you who do not know the south is notorious for the glorious rap songs, many of which come out down there well ahead of the rest of the country (sometimes years....it's weird). I have posted a link with said song. Don't hate till you hear the whole thing. It is wonderful. The video also has the lyrics so you can fully appreciate the creative genious of this lyrical working. Warning, this may not be appropriate for work (depending on how cool your coworkers are). But I feel that most of this blog is not appropriate for work. On that note I am done. Happy holidays.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyBI4Y7Dz6c
So the girlfriend and I were in Louisiana for thanksgiving festivities and I have discovered my new favorite song. For those of you who do not know the south is notorious for the glorious rap songs, many of which come out down there well ahead of the rest of the country (sometimes years....it's weird). I have posted a link with said song. Don't hate till you hear the whole thing. It is wonderful. The video also has the lyrics so you can fully appreciate the creative genious of this lyrical working. Warning, this may not be appropriate for work (depending on how cool your coworkers are). But I feel that most of this blog is not appropriate for work. On that note I am done. Happy holidays.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyBI4Y7Dz6c
Friday, November 27, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving
IT'S DECORATIVEGOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.
BY COLIN NISSAN
- - - --->
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.
I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I'm going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, "Aren't those gourds straining your neck?" And I'm just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, "It's fall, fuckfaces. You're either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you're not."
Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff'rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn't it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they're both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that's upsetting, but I'm not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.
The next thing I'm going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I'm going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it's not summer, it's not winter, and it's not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it's fall, fuckers.
Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you're going to fucking love my house. Just look where you're walking or you'll get KO'd by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you're going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.
For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.
Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html
BY COLIN NISSAN
- - - --->
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.
I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I'm going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, "Aren't those gourds straining your neck?" And I'm just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, "It's fall, fuckfaces. You're either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you're not."
Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff'rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn't it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they're both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that's upsetting, but I'm not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.
The next thing I'm going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I'm going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it's not summer, it's not winter, and it's not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it's fall, fuckers.
Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you're going to fucking love my house. Just look where you're walking or you'll get KO'd by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you're going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.
For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.
Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A great way to wake up (especially if dave is singing it to you)
Enjoy this video gem of a song. This band has long been lauded for its extremely post-modern take on the challenges and issues facing over-privileged youth in suburban America, with tantalizing use of harmony to boot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d80J5ahfTCc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d80J5ahfTCc
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