proposal

soooo feb 5th thru feb 8th

michael and i will be in dayton. geoff of course will be there. and to my knowledge so will j-huizle.

i propose that anyone else left in the country that can make it come as well

i am present

this is just to say I do have access to this creative writing utensil. I am listed as "bigtruckdriva" in memory of sharon woods and its molestation of women.

I'll write in a bit. I'm busy. I am also in Ohio for the next few days. holla.

Dolce and Gabana

I came to an earthshattering realization today. My roommate and I are named David and Garrett, D&G, yeah Dolce and Gabana. I am contemplating having all of my students call me professor Dolce. I also excitedly explained the D&G thing to several people, showed them the famous ad created by Ravi, Markus, and I and then made Garrrett pose for one with me. Its well done, suffice it to say that I'm showing Garrett his reflection in a hand mirror, among other things.

Ali, with all of your tidbits about life you make me feel like a slacker PCV

Tyler, Ive been waiting for the picture you sent to download for almost an hour

SteveO, well done but how do I know you didnt look that up

Michael, are we talking red ass monkeys, I saw one walking around the street the other day like a dog

Geoff, youre the last one still in college

Ravi, the above story is mainly aimed at you I hope you take great pleasure in it

Matt, RAGE

Jordan, sorry I dont have more details about day to day life, I refer you to davidkingsblog.blogspot.com

Jessie, is Jessie on this blog
What about Patrick

My mom thought I was really into pewter for a while

All you attendees of Shakamak 3, Ukraine has what we were looking for. There is a single word that means “drinking-horn.” This word is “ріг” which can be roughly transliterated as “rih.” Unfortunately, I have not seen one of these or had reason to use this word. There’s another word, though, самагон (samahone), meaning “moonshine,” which is surprisingly useful. Many families make their own hard liquor, but probably just because it’s something they like doing and not because it’s that much cheaper. Well, I suppose it could be cheaper, but it’s hard to beat $3 a handle. (The low price is a combination of the saturated market and the falling value of the hyrvinia, colloquially called “greev.” When I got here, the exchange rate was about 5 greevs to 1 dollar. Today I saw that dollars are being purchased for 8.6 greevs. Yo my yo, inflatsia.)

In response to Ravi’s query: olives may be added to the list of vanquished foods. I got in the habit of eating an olive after taking a shot and now I like them.

Two similarly stupid things I’ve done in Ukraine: I put a glass jar of honey in my soft-sided suitcase for my flight from New York to Kyiv. I don’t know why I did this, but of course it broke and covered everything in the duffle bag, making all my clothes and my boots very sticky. That was eleven weeks ago. Last week I put a hard-boiled egg in my pocket—you can probably see where this is going—in excitement or frustration, I clapped my arms against my sides. As it turns out, the egg was only soft-boiled, so now my sweater has a very eggy pocket that will stay that way until I find the time to wash it by hand as I do all my clothes.

As a small gift, our technical instructor, basically the person who taught us how to become English teachers in Ukraine, Olena, gave us a list that she herself had compiled of 88 Ukrainian and Russian swear words/words about sex, which happens to be the same, секс. This list makes me feel like English might really need to step it up. For instance, three different words are translated as “fucking good” or “very fucking good.” Russian has captured these emotions and slightly nuanced variations with simply one word each. I am sure there are subtleties that cannot be translated. Just like German has so many words about consciousness and thought that don’t translated into English, so is Russian with curses. Something to strive for. The words: мастурбувати – (mahstoorboovaty) to masturbate, бльін – (blene) pancake, literally, but it’s used like “fudge” because, блядь – (blaht) means bitch, Закрій єбало – (zuhkree yebahlo) shut the fuck up, and finally, my absolute favorite, пиздец – (pizzdets) translated as “a cunty situation.”

Finally, in case you are looking for some new music to listen to or are concerned that the children of Ukriane might not be getting a clear picture of the ever-changing American music scene, I have this paragraph from their textbook as evidence to the contrary:

“Among the most famous American singers and bands we can find: Miles Davis, the Doors, Bob Dylan, the Everly Brothers, the Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, Buddy Holly, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Janis Joplin, Jerry Lee Lewis, Madonna, Bob Marley, Elvis Presley, Prince, R.E.M., Tom Waits, Stevie Wonder, Will Smith, Enrique Iglesias, Barbara Streizand, Red Hot Chilly Peppers, Nirvana, Ricky Martin, Kiss, Motor Head, Savage Garden, Sheryl Crow, Tina Turner, Tony Braxton, Tori Amos, Britney Spears, Eminem, Mariah Carey, No Doubt, Backstreet Boys, Metallica, etc.”

Finally, I can't keep up with this blog. You are all too clever and post too frequently for me. Don't change.

Your moment of zen:

Happy Horidays

Only one shopping week left until Christmas, and (C)Hannukah begins Sunday at sundown. I hope that you all enjoy your holiday season and that none of you are ronery, so ronery (especially if you are the smartest, most crever, most phyicarry fit. If these apply to you, I hope that there is somebody to rearize it). Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I have applied my holiday desktop, and would like to share it while there's still time.

A bit of a throwback

Ok, I have just spent about half an hour getting caught up on the house board and I appologize for elongated absense. I hope that this finds you all happy and healthy wherever you may be.

To my friends abroad; I hope that your respective foreign cuntries [sic] don't kill you (since they can do that) and that you find fullfillment and self-worth in what you do. Stay safe and I actually would be interested in some of the day-to-day details of "the life" what's the diet like? what are the social stigmas that you have screwed up? etc.

To my full-time office/lab/cubicle working friends; I hope that you are happy in what you are doing, and if you cant be happy, I hope that you are at least contented. Get some hobbies, I find that that helps.

Anywho, I guess Im writing for a couple different reasons that I thought of so I will continue to type and see where my fingers take me.

a. What are you all in the ohio area doing for New Year's? I have heard a couple different really good raging possibilities such as Cleveland or Chicago. Let's see if we can work something out that could be dangerously fun.

b. Ravi, we need to hang out again soon.

c. Steve-O ...... actually I just talked to you, so I got nothing....

d. Mike, can you steal me a monkey? or at least let me borrow one? I think that would be a fun experiment...

e. Geoff, thanks for being sweet and not rubbing it in

f. Matt, hope Africa is going well, have you been pirating these ships? if so, dont die

g. Dave, I hope your bowels have recovered and your not throwing up out your rectum any longer

h. Tyler, you havent called for that alfredo recipe in a while, are you ok?

i. Story time - so this past weekend I was visiting Lauren at UD and went up Saturday afternoon to be there in time for some dinner (nothing too exciting) and to being the boozing. She lives at 1522 Frericks right across from the castle which was having a classy Chistmas party (interesting that they are still allowed to call it that even though we played beer pong and took shots, maybe my definition of 'classy' has morphed a bit)(we were and are classy) that evening. So Lauren and I got ready and dressed up and all that and began drinking around 7 or 8pm. I continued to drink with a boyfriend of one of her roommates while the girls finished getting ready so I was maybe three or four beers deep when we went across the street.
So we got into this party and te placed was respectfully packed with dressed up folks with wrapping paper covering the walls, Christmas lights hung up, the works and we make our way to the bar to get a drink (not a real bar, not THAT cool, actually the kitchen where the counters were covered with bottles) and I made myself a drink and took a shot with a guy I knew... Then we played some beer pong... then another drink from the kitchen/bar... then a cup from one of those classic college tub o' death drinks and I was done. The rest of the night was very in and out, I remember some bu not all. Lauren was pretty hammerfaced as well so she wasnt really good at recounting my evening for me, but as much as I can tell, I didnt make an ass out of myself, except when I got back to Lauren's and proceeded to thrash her kitchen, yell at her roommate and the best part; thow up on my poop. Yeah that's right, I've always wondered what you would do if you were pooping and had to vomit, if you could have enough will power to stop one or the other urges. Turns out, you dont have to, you just poop faster. Since I felt the vomit coming, I pushed then with my pants around my ankles, turned around and threw up on my poop. Very satisfyingly disgusting. So now you know what to do if you are ever caught in this predicament. Push.
The next day was hell. I threw up stomach acid four times and all I did was sleep, watch tv, and throw up until I had to go home to be at work Monday at 8. Oh Dayton my Dayton.

So that was this past wknd, anywho, I hope you are all safe and happy with whatever you are doing wherever you are doing it, Im glad that we keep this up, it's nice.

I have to poop...
JH

wonders of the world

i would first like to point out that i love the 421houseboard blog for a reason that might not seem so good at first...i forgot about it. Now while at first you might think...well fuck thats not cool...but it always seems to come back to me when i am in most need of entertainment. the many previous posts have left me chuckling to myself at work, no doubt bringing looks of confusion from my fellow colleagues. i enjoy it greatly

second... the 5 mother sauces are hollandaise, tomatoe, bechamel, espagnole, and veloute.

third... jersey sucks

fourth...somebody win the fucking lottery so we can all quit our respective jobs and start the commune

fifth...i hate it when food establishments put french fries in plastic to go containers...not only is it bad for the environment, but they also get soggy and unenjoyable

ravi...i will cook for you if you pay me...however i am not cheap

eighth...i miss smash

ninth...faaaaaaattttttttaaaaasssssssssssssssssss...you pokeballed of the screen...link wins!!

i now must return to work

keep on ragin on

Epiphapaloooooza!

Season's Greetings! Now I only start out that way to prove a point. Being politically correct has gone too far. I mean if you do not know a person's belief set on religious and or not so religious holidays ( huh hum christmas.......modern day christmas of course. i'm not afraid to go there) atleast take a guess. It's fun (as is most forms of publically making an ass out of yoursef) and hey maybe you'll get one right. Now if I did such a thing at work that would not be acceptable. Which brings me to the point of this rant, which is of course a mix of humor, shame, and of course stupidity. One of the girls I work with got suspended for making a joke referencing Aunt Jemima. Said joke failed to offend any of our african american employees yet was reported to ye supervisor by a white women. Now I'm not one to say that racist jokes are by any means neccessarily okay or "acceptable", but come on. You've laughed at worse. And now I really want to hear the joke because I bet it was funny. But no one will repeat it because they don't have the girth and fear of suspension has entered their head. Lame.

Now the real reason for this post. I had the most beautiful idea today. I am going to make a home brew....something along the lines of a maple stout. Now the beauty is that instead of using maple syrup to give it the robust yet subtle tones of sweet maple (and maybe some honey oats?? suggestions welcome) I am going to use maple sap! Simple, not overpowering, and most importantly all natural. Minus the river catching fire. Yes Geoff, it was a long time ago. For some reason though it is hard to get a picture of a a river on fire out of your head. Anyways, be on the look out for Al Gore. Nobody has heard from him lately and I think he might be looking for manbearpig again. Super cereal. RAGE on

I didn't intend to post today but after reading so many great posts I decided that:
A. It would be cliche not to
B. It was like diamonds
C. I love you all
D. Thats my side boob
E. The only thing that has recently given me as much satisfaction as reading this blog is watching the movie Helvetica, which is a movie about a font. Need I say more. Its fucking awesome. The best part is when this German dude says: "I like spontaneity. Yeah, I'm German, I can't be late." Maybe thats not the best part but its pretty funny.
F. Sex and Gin and House- three things that I have encountered way more in training than I expected
G. I can't believe how much I hear Akon
H. And seriously why is he so fascinated with the reverb function, there are production tools
I. But Akon is pretty good
J. I mean even if I don't want to admit it he's talented
K. And did you guys know he was an orignal member of the Fugees but then went to jail.
L. Crazy
M. I started reading The Magic Mountain the other day which incidentally is about tuberculosis and psychoanlysis, which interestingly enough I've been reading a lot about lately.
N. Oh you know what else gives me a warm feeling inside. Listening to the Jayhawks.
O. If this house board isn't still raging (in all senses of the word) when we're 69 I'll be severely disappointed.
P. And if I live to be 69 I hope to celebrate with a little bit of 69 on February 10th 2056.
Q. Steve-O, quick culinary quiz. What are the 5 mother sauces?
R. All of the above.

R.

Now I must counterfeit my name, which I do. Where? There. (10 bonus points if you get this reference).

A Coming Out Party...

While I have been following the house board lately (has everyone done their dishes?) I have been unable to post as I had forgotten my password. I have recently fixed that, and am now coming out from beneath my social networking rock.

First, I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving, wherever it may have been held.

Secondly, Ravi, the river caught fire over 30 years ago. Can't we leave the past in the past. Besides, the bottles of Edmund Fitzgerald assure us that if we were to take a swig of Lake Erie, it won't taste smoky, robust, dark, and bittersweet.

Thirdly, last week I manged a rare sighting of the elusive creature known as a New Yorker. I believe the more scientific term is Steve-O. I really enjoyed the visit and I still love you even though you're completely weak in drinking games now. I really like your new wheels and I think it sucks that someone already keyed it. But you live in New York. I think it would have been cliche not to.

Fourthly, I have run out of things to type, and will take my leave to enjoy some lunch and football.

Peace out homes

Words That End in "omments" and Carrying the Wikipedia Torch

First, I want to start off this month's post by pointing out that none of us has found any regular pattern to how or when we post on this blog. I am not surprised. I do not hope or expect any regularity to emerge. Thus is the space cadet.

Second, I will dispense with starting the rest of my paragraphs with enumerations.

You should all note that I have discovered a novel (to me, at least) and fun (again, to me, at least) facet to blogging: the comment. You may note that I have laid some comments out there (on this very blog, among others), but mine have not been very exciting. They're also only sometimes poignant and almost always bland.

Here I am describing our blogging behaviors. Leave it to me to take the self-critical/reflective/transcendental(?) perspective.

Dear Wilco fans,

I was recently excitedly carrying on the wonderful and traditional space cadet pastime of Wikipedia perusal. My starting topic was Radiohead. I was compelled to start there, because I've listened to them a lot lately and feel that I know little of their history or influences. Immediately, I clicked away from their page to one on Krautrock. I mean, you see Krautrock in a blue font and it's like diamonds - you pretty much have to click on it to read more about it. The Krautrock page immediately fascinated me and then, just when I least expected it, I laid eyes on a reference to Wilco and Jeff Tweedy. Apparently, Mr. Tweedy cites Krautrock or something like it as an influence of his. No other Wikipedia discovery could have eclipsed this one in the level of satisfaction that it brought me today, so I stopped there and started looking for someone to tell about it.

Since I would like to uphold some sort of academic standard and in lieu of a footnote or parenthetical documentation, I give a link to Wikipedia. This is of course valid, because Wikipedia contains only cited, cross-referenced, cold, hard facts, and is certainly something that many would consider only a small notch down in legitimacy from a peer-reviewed academic journal. Who reads those anyway?

Jeff Tweedy's connection to this whole mess of a blog post

You will have to read/scroll down at least as far as the "Influence on later generations" segment to find the topic I am citing.

Please excuse me now. I am in the old Roesch, and some inconsiderate exchange students are currently unabashedly mocking the most essential of library etiquette: they're talking very loudly in a language I don't understand to friends that they seemed to have not seen in a long time who have gathered right behind my chair. Wow. Get a room. Or go back to your country. (White power.)

Como Estan, Bitchays! (I tried my best to sound like Ben Stiller in Anchorman)

Hey guys. Hope you guys all had a wonderful thanksgiving in your respective Ohio Cities (Cleveland, home of the burning river, which happens to be both a tasty beer and a horrifying reality and reminder of the city's pollution; Cincinnati, aka the Nasty Nati, which has survived both a crack shortage/war and a hurricane since I have been here; Columbus, home of the post-OSU Michigan Riot that inevitably takes place, win or lose, every year), East Coast States (New York's Long Island, which instead of Jersey is the actual excrement of NYC, no arguments Steve-O), Southern States (Missouri, which will forever be remembered as a Southern State for its role in the Missouri Compromise; Texas, where it is somehow legal to murder people so long as they have a. trespassed on your property and b. are either a minority or a foreign exchange student) and Far-off countries (Mozambique, which the more I look at this word, the more I think it would make both a svelte dance move and a verb signifying getting served [You just got mozambiqued, bitch!]; Malawi, where I am sure Matty is a particurly brilliant shade of sunburned red; Zambia, where Patrick has within the last five minutes no doubt insulted a poor villager but then quickly apologized, so the villager can no longer justifiably retaliate; Ukraine, whose thanksgiving meal seems to have consisted mostly of pork and featured Ali inviting someone to kick her ass by wearing her favorite t-shirt inside out instead of "cowboying up" and doing her laundry). That being said, I am sure all of you are still yearning for the yesterdays of the 421 Shennanigans (cheeky and fun, not hurtful meow) as I am. Why just the other day I insisted that somebody come to my apartment and cook a meal so good it was sexually stimulating but not bother to clean up the dishes and utensils they used to make it, but then I remembered that nobody makes Manicott(I) like Stephen Blakeney used to, and my insistence would only leave me feeling a little empty inside. Seriously tho, Steve-O, if I pay you will you just come cook for me? I am finding it hard to make time to cook often and end up eating 2 (two, which btw Matty is the normal serving for a HUMAN BEING) veggie burgers on a sandwich instead of the 5 course meal I am used to. I can't even fit a bucket of birthday cake ice cream inside my freezer, so I have to settle for the paper box. And don't even get me started about my chili withdrawal. Allright, thats enough waxing. Don't forget to write anything and everything on this blog, even if you have just a few minutes. It will make me smile and hate med school a little less (I don't really hate it, just during exam week). I leave you with a picture that should bring a tear of joy to all.

It's Snowing in Cleveland

So first and foremost it is snowing outside, for like the fourth time already this winter. One of the lovely benefits of living in the snow belt. It looks nice though, very nice. Good to hear from our RAGE Global correspondents on site in Africa. Dave, hopefully there are no nasty parasites swimming around in your bowels. For an update on the old namesake home, the girls that live there severely lack the lifestyle standards we lived by last year. They don't even open the blinds. I mean come on meow. They will unfortunately never know what it feels like to see someone being pleasured next to their house, or make a complete ass out of themself in front of the random passer by. Well I am lame and must go to bed. Now for the Peter Griffin Side Boob Hour!

Giardhea (sp?)

Ok, so I just read this for the first time in a long time and it made my day, so Iºm going to post. Also, I havenºt posted on my blog so I have to post somewhere. Iºve now been in Mozambique for seven weeks and in Namaacha for six. I could bore you with the details of my daily life or I can tell ridiculous stories that are in no way indicative of my daily experience and will give you all a completely skewed idea of what life is like here. Iºll go with the latter.

I think it would be cliche not to begin with a story involving bowel movements (those of you who have seen me with food poisoning in Iowa have an idea where this could go). So I managed to go the first six weeks without feeling the least bit sick and then last Friday I started to feel a little bad in the stomach. Now, Saturday I had to leave to visit a current volunteer at 330 in the morning so this was awful timing. We had also just had the session where we learned that the definition of diarhea is four loose or watery stools in a 24 hour period, so I knew that it was just about 1030 when I officially had it. I should mention that we have an outside latrine (casa de banho) and that it was pouring down rain. I think the low point came at about 130 when I was sitting in the casa de banho wearing nothing but a raincoat and underwear wondering if the severe burping indicated that I had giardhea or if I had just been reading too much of Where There Is No Doctor (for those of you not familiar this consists of several hundred pages of descriptions of intestinal parasites and skin infections mixed with exhortations to eat well diagrams of babies being born arm first). So this was not a good time to start a 14 hour bus ride but I really didnºt want to miss site visit. So I took some pepto and oral rehydration salts and got on the bus. The first leg was awful, its about two hours to Maputo, the capital, where I had to transfer, and I held it together for most of it. But as we pulled into the bus station I threw up about 7 times out the window. After that I felt a lot better and had a great trip. It was great to see vastly different parts of the country, a site where a volunteer lives, and go to two of the best beaches I have ever seen in my life. One I am pretty sure is best in the world. Unfortunately while in the process of raging there I lost my sunglasses and my water bottle complete with Left Hand sticker.

Ok, Iºm on the clock, got to go. Ill try to give you more about my actual life later but yall dont want that yall want shit and beaches.

Califooornniiaaaa (red hot chili pepper voice)

Hello.
I was recently re-added to this shit since the powers that be decided to revoke my invitation. However, I'm going to write nothing right now because its after 10 and i have PT at 5:30 in the morning with badass Willie Holmes aka our personal trainer. I didn't make the cut for the firefighting team (I didn't even get the chance to do the pack test I was training for! 90 people applied and only 30 made it and I'll be honest...didn't put much effort into the application; they are boring) so therefore you don't have to worry about me burnin' up. Yesterday I did get my combat boots...when we are not in uniform (a good portion of time) we are in civilian clothes. Apparently this program takes the best of military and civilian life to form their policies. who knew? Not me. I will be saying "program" from now on because they have this thing that checks the web for anything that says the name of my program everyday to see if we are writing negative things. If we are, we get in trouble because we are not representing the "A" (which is what they call this here)...so I probably won't have a blog or if I do will say "program" but you all know where I am. I must go. They are watching me.

Miss raging very much.
Jessie

Have you heard the word is of a cetain....avian variety?

Hey guys. I survived my first set of exams with all of the my hair and teeth intact. I was just wondering, did any of you see family guy this weekend? As always, it was absolutely ridiculous, but for the night ride crew, it holds even more poignaint meaning.....for the simple fact that we sang that bizarre surfin birds song continuously while hiking in glacier national park to make sure we scared away any lurking bears. Indeed that day as well as sunday, the word was certainly ornothological in origin you might say. Geoff, if Tyler has not seen this episode, please force him at gunpoint to do so (and don't act like you can't do that, cuz I know that Kirkey is currently packin. If he isn't, and has not yet decided on what gun to get, may I strongly urge you to tell him he should purchase a tommy gun, if for no other reason than he would be able to use the line "Well, I beleive you, BUT MY TOMMY GUN DON'T!") That is all.

Today we put condoms on dildos with a doctor.

Lovers, friends,
I am using the internet (props to Al Gore a la Michael) for the first time in about ten days and it seriously feels like it's been about ten weeks. I am in language classes about four hours a day and then I go home and have to stumble my way through conversations with my host family in Ukrainian and pantomime. It is actually pretty much fun, if only a little stressful.

Some funny stories:

Our flight from JFK to Frankfurt was delayed about three hours, meaning we were going to miss our connecting. Because, however, there were so many of us headed for Kyiv (70 in our group alone), Lufthansa decided to hold the flight. This meant that we were rushed in Frankfurt. I imagine this was the reason that over 100 pieces of our luggage were lost when we arrived. This could actually be a very long story, but know that we spent five hours cramped in the Lost and Found office and we couldn't get through the line because they didn't have enough people working, there were only 10 copies of the necessary form, and no one, NO ONE, knew how we were supposed to file a claim.

On Saturday we traveled to the big city for a technical training session. While we were here, there also happened to be a large performance. Apparently Ukraine recently had a ten-month long athletic olympiad among all the villages and we got to go to the spectacular closing ceremonies. They were primo. Imagine about 500 kids in matching jumpsuits making choreographed arm movements. Parts of it were really neat looking, and the whole thing seemed very Soviet.

Yesterday, I explained to my host family that I wanted to go running. I was only telling them this so that they wouldn't worry about me (and so they could perhaps unlock the gate that I don't have a key to). For some reason, they decided that their son (about 14 years old and I don't think he likes me) needed to go with me. So what ended up happening was he sprinted and I ran after him as he led me through the woods, to a river, along the electric-train tracks, and back through the woods until we ended up in their backyard. I was really confused, so I stood outside for a while and then just decided to go in, both of us having run.

Oh, I guess I should tell you where I'm living. I live in Korzhi, a village of about 1500 people. There are three other trainees with me in this community and they all live on the same street. I, however, live about a mile away on an unpaved road on a "mini ranch." We have geese, chickens, turkeys, rabbits, a dog, two cats (one is named "Lova Massachusets" because "chootchoot" means "small" in Russian), various fruit trees, and a garden. I have a mother, father, and two brothers. Maksim is 12 and he likes to play games with me and help me learn Ukrainian. They eat a lot of ham and bologna which I've politely declined, but I really have no gastronomical complaints.

Finally, I really do miss you all. I don't feel like I've really gotten the chance to be myself yet here. There were some people I met at training who seemed like they'd fall right in with our group, but the people in my cluster are a little different. I like them all, and we get along, but no one is quite sarcastic enough. Plus, I don't think they have a rich enough appreciation for Family Guy, Gunther, Zoolander, or Star Wars. They would never understand rule month.

Ali

Pie anyone?

how many pies could we make with this?

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2008/10/03/pumped_up/?s_campaign=yahoo

Do your damn dishes!

Hello all from "The City", better known to those not influenced by the lyrical workings of bone thugs in harmony as Cleveland. Well more the sprawling metropolis of suburban cities where colored people have scared all the moderately well to do from the city innards into the woods (which they then cut down in order to build the american dream; seas of green non-native grass with large blobs of asphalt and some now struggling commercial property). Anyways, I got an apartment in Painesville which is about 30 minutes east of downtown give or take. More conveniently 8.3 minutes away from work according to mapquest. On a side note, thank you Al Gore for inventing the internet. Genius that man. So if you guys are ever are in the neighborhood drop in and RAGE! Work is good. Not my dream job, but I am not a complete broke ass anymore. Matty, sorry no commune yet. I will be growing some veggies and herbs on my patio this spring and maybe starting a big smelly compost to piss off the old ladies living in the complex.

Oh yes, the subject of this post. Dishes! I must say since I am on my own I no longer have large piles of dishes. There could be several explanations. One could be the wonderful 21st century technology of the dishwasher. Another could possibly be not hosting large dinner parties 421 style. However I would like to think it is because I do my dishes and the rest of you are obviously to blame for all mishaps involving dishes. But thats just me. On a serious note about dishes though I used our no dirty dishes tally idea as a model for positive reinforcement today at work. Reviews were mixed. My seriousness on the issue was obviously mis-interpreted. I now leave you with this (John Stewart would call it your moment of zen, however it is rosh hashanah and he cannot roll today)...

Location: Redneck bar. Lots of nascar posters, lots of old creepy men in need of dental plans, very poor lighting, you know the type. Painesville, OH
So I go to the bar and ask what types of beer they have. This middle aged women who looked like she time warped here from the eighties (the bartender) responds with a list of beers, none of which I was extremely interested with. Your typical gas station beer, budweiser bud light miller light mgd pbr high life etc. I asked her if they had any Great Lakes. She promptly responds, "we ain't got no imports"

Holy Shit this thing works!

Alright, I am an idiot, but I really haven't tried to work this gadget thing before.

Brown Bear how are you? Cincinnati is holding strong I take it?

Ali--you left? Care for a visitor sometime? Not saying its gonna happen, but the off chance that it does, I think the Ukraine would be fun. 

Dave--you in Mozambique yet? Not that I really wanna call ya, or have anything to say, but I hope you get a celtel phone plan--its cheaper to chat with ya then.

Jordan--how's your red headed life going? Still living in Cincinnati?

Geoff & Tyler--your 5th year students. How is that treating you? Gotta be kinda strange not knowing as many people, but I bet you both are getting along just fine.

Stevo--tell me something New York has that Malawi doesn't...ya know something really good, that i can only find in New York, or it has the best of!

Michael--what are you up to? have you established the commune yet?

Jessie--your off soon to fight forest fires. No offense, but are you tough enough? I don't want you to get eaten by the fire because your knee's are shot.

Okay, well Malawi is good. It's hotter then shit, but thats about it. Hope to keep checking this thing.

Peace, Rage, and World Domination

Creamed Corn

Where have all the cowboys gone?

So Dave and Ali have both now left for their moderately lengthy international volunteer experiences (or at least caught planes that take them to their first stops). This leaves a huge void of space cadetery, the likes of which have never been seen. I send these two kindred spirits off with some words that I have only briefly considered before writing them just now but nonetheless may or may not come from the heart:

-words of solace: genetics, at this point, is/are on your side, in my opinion
-say good-bye to barbeque sauce
-Both Ali and Dave will certainly be missed and not forgotten

I give to you, the avid blog reader, two crude effigies of the aforementioned Dave [Gunther] and Ali Space Cadeticus

Rage.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Hey guys! Just thought I would let you know that my cadaver is a chubby individual. His name is Klaus, and he seems to be raised on a largely german diet of fattening sausage, thick dark bier, and cheesy kraut. I have spent a significant portion of my gross anatomy lab time giving this clown a liposuction the hard way (ie without suction, but more slicing with a scalpel). Tomorrow I turn him over and cut right into the heart of his germanitude: his BierBelly. Have a nice day doing whatever it is you do (Steve-O, pretending to do work in his cubicle but really playing some sort of computer game, one involving cooking without cleanup, Michael struggling to overcome his diabeetus while performing emergency surgery on furry monkeys, Geoff learning how to do all our taxes and save us from the Man's wrath, Matty doing something that makes you just say "really?", Dave attempting to learn Portuguese by repeatedly watching City of God, Ali probably losing something or running late due to poor planning/general space cadet disorder, Patrick probably insulting someone and apoligizing before the person actually realizes they have been insulted, Jordan inputting information in his PDA about his next 10 meetings while simultaneously presenting in (you guessed it) a meeting, and of course Tyler strumming his guitar in a dark room lit only by a dim desk lamp, about to commence writing a 15 page paper due in 6 hours, with no shirt having just woken up from his afternoon nap, and of wearing his retainer.)

Love,
Brown Bear

What are ya'll up to now?

Hey everyone!
I was just thinking that I havent heard from some of you in a bit, I was just wondering what you were up to these days. Work for me is going well. the WEBN fireworks were really sweet to go to at a private event with the fam and work. I just started classes on Multimedia design and Web Development so those will be good to learn, but it sucks to be back in class. Anyway, hit me up or post damnit! Hope all is well and safe with .
Have a Blessed day

I had the sweetest room at 421...

MOVE IN R@gE

it is t-minus 1 day til move in R@gE begins...and honestly...i cannot fuckin wait...work is going sooooooooooo slow this week in anticipation of the shenanigans to be had...see ya soon!

and dave...take out the fuckin trash!

Back in Dayjing

So I've moved into Steveo's old room yesterday and it's fabulous--nice and chilly. Also, you may not recognize me on campus/around Dayton because I left my piece of sheet bike in St. Louis and brought the Trek instead.

Thus, today is Wednesday, and though I don't know when classes begin or my exact schedule, let the Rage begin. (Come on, when did I ever know my schedule except the morning of?) MJ says Milano's is a priority for her this evening. Olympics to be watched by all. (Any hints on how to get the Olympic theme out of one's head? I guess I won't worry about it--I like the song anyway.) I expect to see Ali there. There may have been threats for her kidnapping from George and Amy's farm to MJ's. Other good news: Kirky works at Fieldhouse which is like the Linebacker tree in Albert Emanuel's front lawn, i.e. "Right there." ... Could be bad.

Rage moving to a University of Cincinnati near YOU

Hey guys. I moved into my apartment in Cincinnati (Corryville to be exact) on Monday and have spent the past week getting settled and other things like that. You guys should come visit some time. I start orientation next monday and class the following monday. My new address is 215 Martin Luther King Avenue East; Apartment 3; Cincinnati, OH 45219. I will see most of you for move-in rage. Until then, keep dreaming up elaborate plans to annex 421 College Park forever (so far the best I have is we simply go in there and do what tyler, Jordan and I did to matt, which is hide all of their stuff in their dressers, the 2nd floor bathroom cupboards, or in Sig Ep's basement, which will cause them to go insane/spontaneously combust, and then the house is ours).

Move In Rage

yes sir, I am certainly looking forward to the rage'n that will occur on move in weekend. Get ready for some irresponsible shenanigans. Can't wait to see anyone who is able to come.

That red head kid

Old Business:
1. In response to your query Steveo, Matt (Matty the Rage) Meyers left the country today. [I am still running the numbers on how this will effect GNR (gross national rage)]. I (DJ Jawnz aka Gunther aka D. Shiznit aka Davasaurus Rex) leave the country September 29th. I believe that Ali (Grammar Rules) Kinsella leaves on September 28th (if she isn't going to be on the moon or elsewhere in outer space).

2. Raging at 421 on move-in weekend is a glorious idea and I will do everything in my power to be a part of it (actually I won't, I'll try really hard but doing everything in my power would be pretty silly). We have to commandeer the Wicker Room for a house meeting at which the role of Matt will of course be played by Steveo.

New Business:
1. In addition to coming up to Dayton on Saturday of move-in weekend I'm going to try to come fairly frequently until I bounce out of the country. Probably on Thursday night through all day Friday because I work every day but Friday. However, I'll also probably quit my job at some point allowing me to spend 100% of my time raging for a brief period.

2. I recently was in Dayton briefly and woah. Bridge gone. It feels sort of weird like- I left this womb and now they've severed my umbilical cord to it (which was the Stewart Street Bridge).

3. I am Smashing on Wednesday- be jealous.

For Old Times Sake:
1. I think that some people haven't been keeping up on their chores so I think we should all make an effort to do a better job on that.

Foreign Excursion

to all you who are leaving us for foreign lands in search of excitement and adventure...when are you leaving

Return of the R@gE

sooooo move in weekend is fastly approaching us...and i for one cannot wait to get together and booze. Hopefully everyone now knows that the 15-17 of august shall be the first ever return of the R@gE . I believe we shall all need to show up to 421 college park on the afternoon of saturday the 16th of august with booze in hand and the people who now reside in our wonderful former residence shall be greeted with...hey fuckers were boozin...

that is all

Dirt'ay Jerz'ay

Today I went to the Grease Trucks for the first time in 3 years, and it was AMAZING. That is all.

yeah I wear a suit to work, so what?!

hehe, I thought you'd enjoy that Mike. I am back to mtgs and projects, bout to get a smartphone in the next few weeks so I can be as electronically tethered as possible. I have an office with a door and window and a closet so suck on that! I hope you all are having a fantastic summer. The Reds game was tons of fun, we should do that again. Did someone invite Jessie to this? Im gonna get drunk this weekend while ya'll are at Shakamakadoodle. Smoke something for me. Love you all, Im having a party in the near future, get prepared....
"No Lauren, Steve-O doesnt live here"
Jhuiz

SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

well everyone....i wish i could be at Shakamak with you all this weekend, but alas i am in the working world in new york and it would not be practical for me to go to indiana this weekend. however i would like to let you know that i am at work listening to the album SMASHING....LIVE!!!!!!!!!!! and miss wasting my time smashing with you all. hope all is good and i will be with you all in spirit this weekend! FUCKING RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know swim with dolphins and all that crap!

chuck duece

Alas Alias

Okay I must ask just to clearify some of the nicknames on postings. I am going to guess that Llama is Patrick and Rage is Matty. Am I right? Help a brother out. And on a final note.....Shakamak! T-minus 5 days and counting. Get hyped.

Hey everyone,
Sorry I haven't posted at all yet but I thought I'd let everyone know what I'm up to. I'm working at Sharon Woods in the maintenance department with Matt and Jessie. Its a lot of fun working outside and everyone we work with is really fun. I'm even getting used to the 6 o'clock start time. See everyone at Shakamak.

Ooh you touch my tra la la

Shakamak

As all of you know, Shakamak is approaching very soon. If you would not mind, Jordan and Patrick, please let us know as to your arrival plans. I have heard from the Beard that Jordan is riding with us (beard, geoff, me, muralee), and confirmation would be appreciated. Also, Patrick, are you flying to a location near us, or are you planning on driving down? That is all. Have a safe week and try to preserve your lives until at least after Shakamak (I know that is very hard for you Beard, given your genocidal tendencies).

two eight one three three oh eight zero zero fo'

Represent your hood
Represent your block
Represent your spot
know what I'm sayin?

A Hefty F*ckin Fee

I was at a rummage sale today and saw an amazing sight. At first it was nothing special, just a maroon felt blanket, but upon turning it over I noticed a beautiful thing--- Embroidered in yellow in the middle of the blanket were the words "FREEDOM ISN"T FREE" I instantly thought of all of you!

Genocide

Fun title right? So the other day at work I was forced to commit the most cold hearted act I have ever partaken in during my lifetime. Hard to believe I know, but yet true. We recieved a shipment of 1000 baby chickens (chicks if you will) which then had to be killed so they can be fed to our red tailed hawk. So bascially I was responsible for the deaths of 1000 defenseless chicks. We actually put them in large trash bags and executed them with gas (CO2). Total downer, especially after eating chicken nuggets for lunch. Made a bit nauseaus, and surely screwed my Karma for a couple of years. I told my boss that I would forever be haunted by the longing souls of those thousand helpless chicks who we cruely killed....and she looked at me like I was crazy. But she has a portrait of her family where they are all looking slightly to the left as if there was something more interesting going on over there. I think that's weird. (a little mitch?) Anyways, peace out.

Hot Art debate gets even HOTTER

So I was at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, and as I was perusing the Museum (as I would sometimes do with the Jello concoctions in KU) I came across an interesting sign above a beautiful ebony wood chair-like object:

Please Be Seated
Exercise caution when sitting, as this chair is also a work of art and is valued by the MFA. Do not hesitate to use it as a chair, but please remain respectful of the artist and his/her work
(this is not verbatim, but rather a paraphrasing)

So, my dear Ali Kinsella, it appears that art can in fact be functional, as per a very distinguished Museum of Fine Arts definition of art. As you are one to trust established and renowned institutions to an extent when contemplating these type of hairy situations, I believe a response to this post is quite in order. All others are of course welcome to respond to this as well, but I think a further explanation by Ms. Kinsella is definetely in order. In addition to the numerous PLEASE BE SEATED signs above several functional but still artwork chairs, I also found several ceramic bowls and plates, waterpipes (indeed, even smoking apparatuses fit this particular museum's definition of art), samurai swords, armor, helmets, and other such weaponry (not the ornate ceremonial variety, but rather the functional variety) and coffins and sarcophaguses, even one containing a mummy inside. This museum was not a natural history museum, but clearly a museum of fine arts, exhibiting countless works of art that were at least at one time extremely functional. Even if they are given the status of works of art for having survived centuries of time, the problem of the chairs still remain, as those are very recently made. So, I must ask again Ms. Kinsella, what then separates our beloved Pineapple bong of the summer of 2007 from being a work of art, if it is not functionality?

Move In weekend/ Speca bday

jordan and i discussed getting an alumni house for move in weekend in august to have a reunion/celebrate specas 21st

discuss

Hoptical Illusions

to start...congrats ali

i have found a new delicious IPA and just wanted to share the knowledge with you all...i doubt that any of you can find it since it is a long island brewery...but it is called Blue Point Brewing Company Hoptical Illusion. A very clever play on words. Hope all is well me love you long time

stay classy

Ha ha, Bob. That's some racist shit.

For anyone who doesn't know, I got my Peace Corps invitation and I will be going to Ukraine on September 28. On a sort of related side note, I'm going to be in Ohio for most of the summer and I'll probably be at school from August until the end of September when I leave.

Helloooooooo

Howdy house mates and mates of house mates. A few personal notes before the big show....

Tyler, good to see that your teeth can fall in line again, and sorry to hear about the breakup

Ali, you are an idiot. I think I remember having a conversation in which you were involved discussion how stupid girls are for wearing inappropriate footwear during wintery conditions. Not to blame your space cadet-ness on chromosomal differences, but seriously? Sandals in snow = poor life decision. Oh, and congrats on your peace corps assignment

Dave, just reading the name Gunther makes me laugh in rememberence of your purple suit and mullet. You pull it off like true Euro-trash

Jordan, I am going to go out on a limb and say you are probably reading this on your PDA whilst in the midst of an intense meeting. Just a guess.

Matty, make sure you pack plenty of sun tan lotion for Africa!

Steve-0, hope golfing is going well. I've never gotten a hole in one, but I have hit somebody, and that is way more satisfying.

So you guys rock and I surely miss the shenanigans (which were inherently cheeky and fun, or else they would not be shenanigans at all). My summer will be dedicated to educating children (or attempting to) and finding a job. So if anybody wants to hire me feel free. I must run now, but this is not the last of me. Peace out. and RAGE!

Ali, I think you should be little red riding dirty. People should not be defined by their awards and achievements, but rather their personality. I believe little red riding dirty more accurately captures your personality, at least your hip-hopping alter ego. Tell me more about Ukraine either here or through email, as you haven't returned my phone calls from the previous two days (im not accusing, I am presupposing that you either misplaced your phone, had it run out of battery, or simply stowed it away cuz it was annoying you, all 3 are acceptable). Much love to all

If we're all going to have nicknames, should I be "Little Red Ridin' Dirty" or "Space Cadet Cup Champion '08"?  By the way, for anyone who doesn't know, I will embarrass myself and let you all know that I went hiking in Glacier National Park in tens of inches of snow with nothing but sandals on my feet.

Yes, it's back:

Tyler's four things have gone back up to five! I just got it today, and it's all clean and clear and shiny and new. Not for long... Oh wait, I am down to four things. It's not final yet but nearly so: Sarah and I have broken up. Sorry to sour the blog!

Holler!!

yes yes ya'll glad to have a bit of a throw back to the great days of 421. I'll be starting work on Monday, so this is my last week to be a waste... enjoy the summer!!
Falcon Hump

Good work brown bear for setting up this house board...now we can harass each other and share our wonderful moments with each other despite our distance...i would like to start by saying one thing


yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Welcome

Welcome to the extension of our house board!!!!! Feel free to post anything and everything that may be on your mind. Hopefully we can use this to stay in touch for several years...Love you all

Brown Bear

PS it would be fun if we all came up with ridiculous nicknames for ourselves to use to sign the blog.