Monday, October 6, 2008

Today we put condoms on dildos with a doctor.

Lovers, friends,
I am using the internet (props to Al Gore a la Michael) for the first time in about ten days and it seriously feels like it's been about ten weeks. I am in language classes about four hours a day and then I go home and have to stumble my way through conversations with my host family in Ukrainian and pantomime. It is actually pretty much fun, if only a little stressful.

Some funny stories:

Our flight from JFK to Frankfurt was delayed about three hours, meaning we were going to miss our connecting. Because, however, there were so many of us headed for Kyiv (70 in our group alone), Lufthansa decided to hold the flight. This meant that we were rushed in Frankfurt. I imagine this was the reason that over 100 pieces of our luggage were lost when we arrived. This could actually be a very long story, but know that we spent five hours cramped in the Lost and Found office and we couldn't get through the line because they didn't have enough people working, there were only 10 copies of the necessary form, and no one, NO ONE, knew how we were supposed to file a claim.

On Saturday we traveled to the big city for a technical training session. While we were here, there also happened to be a large performance. Apparently Ukraine recently had a ten-month long athletic olympiad among all the villages and we got to go to the spectacular closing ceremonies. They were primo. Imagine about 500 kids in matching jumpsuits making choreographed arm movements. Parts of it were really neat looking, and the whole thing seemed very Soviet.

Yesterday, I explained to my host family that I wanted to go running. I was only telling them this so that they wouldn't worry about me (and so they could perhaps unlock the gate that I don't have a key to). For some reason, they decided that their son (about 14 years old and I don't think he likes me) needed to go with me. So what ended up happening was he sprinted and I ran after him as he led me through the woods, to a river, along the electric-train tracks, and back through the woods until we ended up in their backyard. I was really confused, so I stood outside for a while and then just decided to go in, both of us having run.

Oh, I guess I should tell you where I'm living. I live in Korzhi, a village of about 1500 people. There are three other trainees with me in this community and they all live on the same street. I, however, live about a mile away on an unpaved road on a "mini ranch." We have geese, chickens, turkeys, rabbits, a dog, two cats (one is named "Lova Massachusets" because "chootchoot" means "small" in Russian), various fruit trees, and a garden. I have a mother, father, and two brothers. Maksim is 12 and he likes to play games with me and help me learn Ukrainian. They eat a lot of ham and bologna which I've politely declined, but I really have no gastronomical complaints.

Finally, I really do miss you all. I don't feel like I've really gotten the chance to be myself yet here. There were some people I met at training who seemed like they'd fall right in with our group, but the people in my cluster are a little different. I like them all, and we get along, but no one is quite sarcastic enough. Plus, I don't think they have a rich enough appreciation for Family Guy, Gunther, Zoolander, or Star Wars. They would never understand rule month.

Ali

1 comment:

T-RASH said...

Ali, I don't know if you'll ever notice that there even is a comment on this post, but on the off chance you do, well... I don't know where I was going with that. Anyway, I love your blog. I've shared it with my parents and a few other interested parties at the most recent celebration of Thanksgiving. Everyone who has read it (including myself) has not failed to notice the impressive and interesting English ability of its author. I should have written down what my mom said about your work. It was something along the lines of, "She should be a writer." So keep up the good work. It's also nice to see that you've not abandoned the RAGE blog. Chosleevo (spelling?).